"There shall be no other name given": My decision to serve

As many of you know, I have decided to serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I am THRILLED about this opportunity!

For those of you who don't know, this is the run-down on serving a mission:

My family and I will pay for me to leave home and school for 18 months to proselyte and preach about Christ . I don't know where I am going yet but I could be called just about anywhere in the world, speaking any language.

When I told a few of my friends, their first response was "You're never going to graduate!" I just laugh this off. It's true that I probably will not get my undergrad until I'm at least 26, but I personally don't see the point in rushing through school. Anyways, the point of this rambling is that I'm not concerned about how long it will take me to get through school especially when I the things I am doing are far more important than grades and age.

But WHY?


"And moreover, I say unto you, that there shall be no other name given nor any other way nor means whereby salvation can come unto the children of men, only in and through the name of Christ, the Lord Omnipotent" Mosiah 3:17





That is why. Because Christ payed the ultimate price for us to achieve salvation. Because of the Atonement Jesus Christ completed everyone has the opportunity to improve and really become something better. We can become clean. In a world that constantly bombards us with filth and things that bring us down, I want to share the light the the gospel offers. There is light, peace, and strength that comes in the gospel and from faith in Christ that cannot be duplicated. Because I have the knowledge of eternal life and of Salvation. Because we all, regardless of life situation are spirit children of our Heavenly Father and we have a divine heritage. Every person has potential to progress. I feel that hundreds of thousands of people are living day to day without a true knowledge of who they are. I want to share the greatest gift that has been given to all mankind.  The gospel is the center of my life and I know that it answers the deep questions that, without the knowledge of the plan of salvation, would plague us. I want to share the hope that Christ brings into my life and bring others unto Christ so that they can work for their salvation and experience all the gifts that God has for them. 


This decision did not come easily at first, but now that I have realized that this is what I am supposed to do I can't help but be ecstatic about it! With the exception of my testimony of this gospel I have never felt so sure about anything in my life. 

Because the sunshine is different in California

Ah.... Dear blog readers,

I just want you to know that when I have free time it is WAY easier to Pinterest than it is to blog. Sad, but true.

So I have spent the last week or so hanging out in California for a much needed break. This last semester really tried me, but I adapted and survived, THANK GOODNESS. And actually the grades just came out and I will say that they were not as bad as I was expecting.

First of all, I drove down to California with a boy that I had only met once for about 5 min. Colton was one of Ioua's groomsmen and he is one of the craziest people I've met. He was practically bouncing with energy the ENTIRE drive down. I spent about ten  hours with him and I will testify to that. Anyways, he got really excited about driving through Vegas so we drove down the strip and even stopped to walk around for a bit. I'll admit, my fear of crowds got the better of me so I stuck pretty close to him but I had a lot of fun! I also didn't expect to feel like I was back in Russia, but I found myself pulling out the "Ice Queen" face that I learned in Russia. Regardless, I had a lot of fun stopping on the strip and I don't regret it.

The "Cool" shades picture

So I maybe liked our detour adventure a little bit...

So after our little adventure we got into Yucaipa about 1am where McKay and Ioua picked Colton up from my house. I got to sleep around 2am because I had to take care of some things. The next day was my BIRTHDAY! so Launa (my sister) came over from Arizona and make me baked french toast with strawberries! yummy!

Birthday morning with Crazy Person hair:)

Dad likes it when I come home too

Anyways breakfast was SOO SOOOO GOOD! I loved it. I went to Six flags with Colton, Colton's friend Arleen, McKay and his room mate Omar. There were nearly NO lines. The longest line was for X2 and it was about a half hour long. 

longest wait of the day

"I want to go jump in the "O"!"

Epic end of the day shot

My legs were BURNING hot on this stupid bear, but you know? I don't regret it :)

We rode about 7-8 rides and repeated Goliath and Tatsu... My two favorites:) 

When I got home we had DELECTABLE cheesecake that Jed made for me:) Also topped with strawberries. My family knows how to celebrate!

22!!

Summary: My 22nd birthday ranks among my best birthdays ever! SO great!

The next few days were also fun: BBQ at my grandma's house, Brunch in Pasadena with Alex (friendship going strong after 8 years), Ioua's wedding and lots and lots of fun!

CUTE

I love America

First time grilling hamburgers

Alex and I- laughing at our attempts to take a picture of us:)

California has been incredible:) sorry this blog post was so long with so little actual stories....

Hopefully I'll update soon:)

I don't like to post some things in my facebook status...

Dear Mom,

This morning, I miss you a lot.
I am counting on the fact that in the eternal scheme of things this really will be "but a small moment".
I love you.

Forever,


your Lina

Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

Here are some things that I would have liked to call and tell you about recently....
1) I have a new favorite flower!!! It's called a Persian Buttercup. Though you probably already know what they look like I'll show you anyways:

The best part is that they come in yellow a lot!!! I made an arrangement with them as my primary flower for floral design and it's been my favorite so far.

2) We started learning how to Polka in my dance class! It was hilarious at first but soooo much fun! We were all sweating at the end of that class.

3) Daffodils are blooming everywhere and I think of you always. I miss you and I love you. See you soon!

Siempre con Amor,
Selina

Apathy

"Every little thing, is gonna be alright..." Thank you Bob Marley for your words of wisdom.

Lately, I've needed to remind myself that it's all going to be okay. I don't need to worry about the future, because even though things are hard I do know that they will be okay. When I find myself thinking this, Bob Marley tends to pop into my head. I'll be honest though, I don't really like that song. Something about it rubs me the wrong way. Today, I figured out why.
To me, the song carries with it a sense of apathy--that everything is going to be alright but that is because he isn't worried about life. It doesn't matter because what happens doesn't really matter. Not that I would include him in the Dada movement or anything but it seems very apathetic. "it doesn't matter because I don't really care what happens." Well, big surprise, I DO care what happens. I'm very concerned about what happens and maybe that is why the song gets me. Here is the difference. I know that everything really will be alright because I trust my Savior and even though things don't always seem to be going my way he will turn the tables to that "Everything will be for [my] good." Cool, huh?

For me, that is part of the beauty of the Atonement. Life is still going to happen, we are still going to have hard times, we are going to have times where things seem like they are not going our way. But the Lord, in his mercy, has accommodated for that. The "Master of ceremonies" as C.S Lewis referred to him as is at work and nothing in our lives goes unnoticed. Also, because he loves us, he is striving to have our lives be as full and happy as is possible while we are here in this mortal existence.

Everything is going to be just fine:)

Living, Learning and Loving,
Selina

Things I have Learned Lately....

1. I need more pictures on my blog.
2. Use the study guide..... Even if you think the floral design test will be a cakewalk, you should still use the study guide. They tend to help.
3. Smiling = making friends
4. Don't over think it, generally your instincts will guide you correctly.
5. Be honest with yourself and others at all times. EVEN if that means you have to stop and really listen to what is going on inside yourself.
6. Sometimes the best option is to NOT do your homework- as long as you can understand it sill stink later.
7. Take time for family, they come first no matter what.
8. I LOVE my dance 180 class. I will be so sad when Cha Cha is over...
9. There is a random boy who lives in Provo, an econ major who drives a big truck with a chain in the back just in case someone needs a tow. He is a lifesaver. (Aaron you owe him)
10. I CAN handle big life changes.

I'll see you soon

On a bookmark that I got from my Mom's room it reads: 


What Cancer Cannot Take from You

It cannot take away your 

Faith,

shatter your 

Hope

or lessen your 

Love.

It cannot destroy true

Friendship,

invade the

Soul

or take away

Eternal Life.

It cannot

conquer your

Spirit.

On December 19th, after fighting cancer for 5 years, my wonderful Mom passed away. My last day or so in Russia was very hectic as I received the news that she was passing quickly. I'm sure that I don't have the words to describe the feelings as my dad and mom asked me for permission for her to go "home", even if it was before I could make it. I was blessed enough to be able to see her and talk to her on her last night with us. I told her about Russia and all the things that I knew she would want to hear about- the pressed flowers and the jewelry eggs and I bore my testimony. I was the last of the kids to arrive, so we all got to be with her.  We sang some her favorite hymns and though she could not respond, I know she was listening, just as she always had. 

It's been just over a month since that day and I miss her now more than before. Those that know me, know that I was exceptionally close to my mom. It's strange now walking between classes or getting out of a test and not being able to call her to tell her about it. Sometimes it feels as if someone put a clamp on my heart and it stings because I miss her so much. I thought that as I went back to school and got involved in life here in Provo I would be busy enough to dull the ache but it's worse than it was at home. Regardless of all this, all the strange, lonely moments, I have found a deep and abiding peace. The Lord never leaves His children to suffer on their own. Yes, I am only 21 and I have lost my mother. I know that I am young and I still have a lot of achieve in my life that I won't get to tell her about till much much later. But that is just it. I get to see her again. I know that I will get to see her again and that this time I'll be able to give her a GIANT hug because her mortal frame will no longer be frail from it's battle for life. There will be no more chemo, no more dark days, and no more wheelchairs. 

My mom is an incredible woman and I have said for years that if I could be just like her when I grow up then I will be a success. I still stand by that assertion. The deep wells of her spirituality were enough for all of her children, no matter how much we demanded. But she remembered to teach us how to dig our own wells. It was through her and my father's example that I learned to rely on the Lord.  One time in high school I was having a hard time with some friendships and I went to my mom. I specifically remember her telling me that whenever she had times like that, she prayed and took it to the Lord because "Jesus Christ is my best friend,  no one else understands me fully, but he does. I can always go to him and he will always understand me." Thank you Mom, your profound words have saved me on more than one occasion. 

While us kids were sitting around telling memories of Mom over the break one particular one that we all seemed to have in common has stuck out to me. I remember looking for Mom because I needed something or couldn't find my shoe or something else of high importance. After walking around the house yelling, "MOM!!!" at the top of my lungs I would eventually find her in her room. I can see her now, kneeling by her bed in earnest prayer. I remember thinking.... this wont take very long, she has been praying for a while. After a while I learned to just go find something else to do because she wasn't almost done. 

I remember her excitement over trying a new piece of candy, or getting books at the library. I remember all the times she let me rest my head her lap, or rubbing lotion into my feet when I was in my cast. 

Mom- I'm glad that you aren't in pain anymore, even if that means I don't get to see you. Thank you for sticking it out longer than was necessary and suffering for our sake- so we could have you for longer. Thank you for loving all of us kids more than I'm sure I can understand right now. Thank you for teaching me to turn to the Lord, I wouldn't be able to make it through this if you hadn't. Thank you for marrying Dad, you got a winner:). Thank you for teaching me to love the world around me, but more importantly the people in it.

The friendship that we shared is more than most people experience in a full lifetime.

Cancer has strengthened my faith,

 fortified my hope

 and increased my love.

 It has revealed true friendships, 

and reminded me of the promise of eternal life.

I love her dearly and because my parents were married in the temple and have kept those covenants I will see her again and be able to spend time with her again. I know that Christ lived, died and rose again for us. Not only did he pay for all of our sins so that we can be forgiven but he died so that we will live again. My faith is unshaken and my determination to live more righteously only strengthen. Mom, thank you for being my best friend and more importantly my mother. I'll see you soon. <3