Friday, June 24, 2011

Sanctuary

Safe behind my eyelids, I feel the cool darkness around me. I am removed from the world for brief moment when the stillness is broken by a voice.It resonates from somewhere behind me, steady and sure.
"You been prepared for this moment and you are ready."
I take a deep breath, in, out. It takes a moment to focus in, out. The rhythm reassures me and a warm confidence beings to light my soul.
"I want you to see your potential, you are here to do great things, things that you haven't fathomed yet. You are powerful."
It's like standing on the edge of a cliff, waiting to jump, not feeling scared but simply anticipating the moment. I take another deep breath and allow the confidence to grow within me, filling my whole being.
"You know how to accomplish your goal, but remember there will be obstacles and distractions. Focus your mind and spirit and I will show you how to overcome them. I will strengthen you. I will not leave you alone."
I open my eyes as light breaks in front of me, blinding me momentarily as I step into the unknown.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Selina has a passport

So, recently I have been working 30 hours a week and going to school full time. It is almost repetitious to say that I have been quite busy.

However, I made time for this post because it contains BIG NEWS:

I'm going to Moscow, Russia for Fall semester!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm going through a program called i.l.p aka International Language Program and I will be teaching English to elementary aged children. WOOOHOOOOO

I has been a relatively difficult decision for me to make- but I feel great about this decision and know that it will be an incredible experience.

I googled Moscow:


Location on a Map :)






Fountain


Friday, April 15, 2011

Spring has Sprung

So this week I had an awesome experience while on campus, while I could tell you about this experience this picture will hopefully do it justice:

I am SO excited for Springtime.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Life

Life is awesome:)

Just a few updates in no particular order:

1. I have been experiencing a multitude of tender mercies at the end of this semester, especially with regards to my assignments.
2. I still have a good chance of getting a 4.0 GPA this semester! WOOHOO!
3. I just got another promotion
4. I have AWESOME people in my life that care about me and show it.
5. *****This one is waiting for its own post*****
6. I'm turning 21 in one week from today.


Sunday, April 3, 2011

To My Mother



I can remember, as a child, sitting in my mother’s lap, as her melodic voice washed over me. The words from the page of the book would transform into pictures in my mind. I can remember the days when there would be little notes in my lunches with “I love you!” swept across the page in her beautiful half cursive. I can remember, as a child recovering from surgery, the warmth as she would massage lotion into my feet and tell me how much I was loved. I can remember her crying as she confronted cancer and the reality that she may not live to see me married. My mother is so much more than the woman who brought me into the world; she is my mentor, my comfort, and my inspiration. I feel like Maya Angelou when she said “"To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power” but I still hope that today, on her birthday, that I can add my appreciation and admiration to those people whose lives she has touched.

I can remember, the days when I thought having bookshelves lining all the walls in the house was normal. Hosea Ballou said “Education commences at the mother's knee”. My mother never pushed or prodded us to h ave that desire to do well in school, but perhaps without even knowing, she instilled a love of learning in my heart. That love has carried me through years of school and will continue for the rest of my life. If the moon could be unconscious of the effect it has on the waves, my mother would be the moon and the waves my reaction to life.
I can remember the nights that I stared down at the peas on my plate of life and decided that I simply could not eat them anymore. Those peas would be the end of me. So I would meander on into the dining room where my compassionate mother was e-mailing one of her children, or maybe looking up a new recipe online. Without saying anything I would drag up a chair next to her and rest my head in her lap. Like a patient sage she would ask if there was something I wanted to talk about while she stroked my hair back from my face. I needed nothing more, my heart found a safe harbor while it rested from the storms of life.
I can’t forget the second time that my mother was diagnosed with Cancer. She received a phone call and I was the only one home with her when she heard the news. Our tears flowed freely; I wasn’t confused because I knew that Chemotherapy has been the worst thing she has ever faced. Knowing that she would have to endure the agony again would be unbearable. As I tried to comfort her, she surprised me; through her tears she choked a simple sentiment that has impressed itself on my mind and heart. She said “I don’t want to put you through this again.”***
In her darkest moment, she was concerned about me. I would be hard pressed to find a better example of Christ like love. In her own Gethsemane she was more concerned about the welfare of her children. James E. Faust said he believed that, “there is no greater good in all the world than motherhood. The influence of a mother in the lives of her children is beyond calculation”. My mother’s faith in that time of trial has surpassed anything I have seen so far in my life. Her unwavering belief that everything would be okay, has given me hope and strength on my darkest days. I can always look to my mother; I don’t need a famous scientist, a prolific writer or some conqueror of old. No, my mother is my hero, my mentor, my comfort and my inspiration.

I found this on my computer. I wrote it as an assignment for my speech class a little over a year ago, and I want to put on my blog. I hope you enjoyed it!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Some Things Take Time

So I feel like it is time for me to post a blog, even though I'm not sure what to say. I don't really care if this blog is read or not; I just need to get these thoughts out of my head.



It's not funny how life can rip your heart out, especially when you weren't expecting it or planning on it. It's not funny how you can take inventory of your life and you realize that you aren't pleased with the results. It stinks when "something" is missing. Perhaps I'm missing a part of myself. I guess I thought that I was more in control of my life than I actually was and now I am beginning to cope with that fact. Not that I have no agency. I certainly have that. But its using it without regrets that I struggle with. It's learning to hope when things are bleak. Its learning to believe yourself when you say I'm hoping for the best and I know it will get better.


Sometimes all you have to do is live and learn and keep your head up, but at the time that is the hardest thing to do.

"Keep your chin up"

How many times have I heard that over the years?


To be truthful I've really only heard it from two people in my life, but every time it has gone straight to my core.


Shout out to those people who have told me that but won't even be reading this blog...


I am thankful for all of my friends and family and even my random acquaintances. There have been people in my life who have done small things for me that have made the biggest difference. So thank you to all the people who have seen me alone and been my friend, to those who have given me a hug and claimed that THEY needed it, thank you to the people that told me that it's okay to cry, and thank you to those people that seemed to know what I needed even when I didn't.


Thank you to all those people who have made me smile, laugh, and most importantly, those who have inspired me to reach out beyond myself and look for ways to help those around me.


This could be one of the hardest times in my life that I have ever experienced, and for once I'm not sure how long this will take me to get over and I don't know how I am going to get through this, but I know I will.


"He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it."

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I Believe in Miracles

I am currently enrolled in a class that teaches us how to teach students with disabilities. It is a fascinating class and I am learning to much. One of the very first assignments that we had to complete was a personal IEP. Basically, the assignment was to create goals for ourselves for our Physical, Intellectual, and Spiritual health. We made the goals and were required to write down how we were going to achieve our goals. For example, for my physical health I want to be more hyrdated and make it into a habit because there are so many positive benefits. I wrote down that I would accomplish this goal by bringing my water bottle with me to classes. For my intellectual goal I am reading "Walden" by Henry David Thoreau. For my spiritual goal I decided that I wanted to make a habit of reading The Book of Mormon everyday. So I decided on ten minutes a day in the morning before I began to get ready because that is the best time for me to dedicate to a daily ritual.

The last few days I have had an intense amount of homework to do and I was a little concerned about how I would get it all done. I won't bore you with the details but let's say that Monday morning I woke up at 5 a.m and I was working straight through until about midnight only to set my alarm for 5 a.m again. A good amount of my homework I needed other people for and thankfully enough they were available and could help me.
A similar experience happened this morning that has left me in awe all day. As I said before I had set my alarm for 5 a.m with hopes of getting my homework done before my 8 a.m class. While I vaguely remember turning off one of my 3 alarms and when I woke up it was 6:00. One hour later. Surprisingly, I didn't get an adreneline rush, but as I was sliding out of bed I decided to read my scriptures regardless of the time just praying for a miracle.

I believe in miracles.


There is no way that I should have finished that homework and still had the time that I did to rush around getting ready. I know I had divine assistance this morning, I have no doubt in my mind of that.