Tuff with 2 'f's

Dear friends and fellow bloggers,

Life is hard. It is hard to see eye to eye with someone else when each of you have different perspectives. It's hard to change yourself when you've already developed a pattern or a habit. Sometimes it's hard to be hopeful when you keep failing. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is "man up". Sometimes apologizing isn't enough. Sometimes it's going to hurt no matter what.

Sometimes it is exceptionally hard to wait for the light of dawn. But it will come. I have faith that the sun will rise, as it always does.

Living and Learning,
Selina

Things I Have Learned

1. There are some things, ideas, and people worth fighting for, so when you find them, don't let go.
2. Find inspiration in "ordinary" things.
3. If you are afraid to try something new, hold your breath and jump. It'll be worth it in the end.
4. Bliss is being completely happy, even when things aren't "perfect".
5. Know yourself first, but encourage good development.
6. Serve others.
7. If you love with all your heart, doubt has a harder time sneaking in on you.
8. Pray first, act later.
9. Make your life a choice. Choose to truly live.
10. Keep friends close.

Questions and Answers

Yesterday I got to have a long conversation with my mom about a few very important things. I find it interesting the information you can find out by asking the right questions. The conversation left me feeling great about what I am doing and where I am going. The affirmation from my mom was more than what I could ask for. I realize that sometimes we need to simply ask the right questions, when we talk to other people, parents, siblings, room mates, but especially when we pray.

Yesterday, I also spent a decent amount of time sincerely praying, by the end my focus had changed. My initial desire to have my question answered changed to a desire to fix a few things in my life first. My perspective changed from temporal to eternal matters and I realized how to get my life completely in order so that I can make those larger decisions.

Yesterday was full of realizations and full of new light:) I got a rush of excitement for life all over again:D

The real "I love you"

This is the real "I love you", regardless of what they do, you love them. When you are willing to swallow your own pride in order to help someone else.

Love goes beyond liking someone's personality and it surpasses the initial infatuation. When the bad days rain down and the baggage is exposed those that love you are still standing, right there next to you. It doesn't matter if there is a day that you don't see eye to eye on everything because you know that you will work it out. And the reason that you care enough to work through differences? Because you know who they really are, who they truly are and you love them for that. And the best part is that they love you for you too. That when you tell them stupid mistakes that you've made, they don't judge you or freak out on you, they stop and listen to what you have to say; they listen heart to heart. And when you are done, they take you in their arms and let you know that everything is okay and that they are there for you.

Love is what makes that moment possible.

Faith in Every Footstep

The other day I called my mom on my lunch break (a pretty normal activity for me) and we got into a big discussion about faith and healing... There are times in our lives that even though we are living faithfully, bad things happen. For example, my mom was approached by some people that are very close to her and they essentially told her that she hadn't been healed yet because she didn't have enough faith. False. I was floored by the response. Do we not believe in trusting God? Do we not admire Job for praising God even in horrific suffering? Do we believe in a "candy machine" God who gives us exactly what we want? Or do we trust him to allow us to grow through hard experience and stand by us to comfort us? Do we trust him enough to be faithful even when he allows us to walk through the fire of affliction?

Life happens. Every affliction that we experience isn't necessarily because God wanted us to suffer or to force us to go through those trials. However, because we are mortal we are subject to travails of the flesh. Because our Heavenly Father loves us he will not always save us from suffering, but he will lift us up and refine us. We have had and will have times of difficulty and sickness everyone does because we are mortal. The beautiful thing about the Atonement and our Heavenly Father's plan is that he makes it all work out. Even when the clouds gather and things seem grim, there is always a light. If God protected all of his "faithful" children from hardships, then how would they compare? When tested, would they pass? If we never experienced trails because of our "faith" what would we say when we met Job? Heavenly Father loves us and wants us to grow and become the best people that we can. So, he doesn't always shelter us from the storms of life. He will only allow us to experience what we can bear, but he knows we can take a lot more than we think we can. It is not a matter of whether there is faith enough to heal; it is a matter of faith enough to trust when things don't look good from our human perspective to continue trusting our Father. How much faith does it take to walking over a bridge as opposed to taking tht first step into the stream, trusting that God will provide a way? My mother trusts her Savior completely, she is in the prayers of many, many people. She is on prayer rolls around the western United States. She is not experiencing this because she lacks the faith to be healed, but rather, God is showing her how much faith she has, how strong she can be when she relies on her Savior.

Sometimes we wonder, is it because I wasn't good enough? Would I be experiencing this if I were more righteous and faithful. Truth be told, I'm not sure that is the question that really matters. No matter the reason for our afflictions, we have a loving Father who has the power to comfort, heal and strengthen. So why dwell on the problem or perhaps the reason for the problem. When the problem is our own and our trials come from sin we need to understand and repent. But it's my opinion that the most productive thing would be to dwell in the hope of Jesus Christ. The faith and hope that through our afflictions we can be sanctified. That hope has the power to motivate smiles even when the world is weighing down on us. Jesus Christ is there to comfort and support us. He wants us to succeed more than we do. He is standing by waiting to help if we will ask. Sometimes it takes a lot of time to recover from various things that life throws at us. But in the meantime we can find true comfort in trusting our Savior.

Mother Pig and Piglet Picture, Animal Wallpaper - National Geographic Photo of the Day

Mother Pig and Piglet Picture, Animal Wallpaper - National Geographic Photo of the Day

I saw this picture and I thought it was adorable in a strange way. Also, it made me think if Wilbur. Just wanted to share.

Selina Hearts California

Well, I’m home from a most excellent trip to California! I hadn’t been home in almost 6 months, which is probably the longest amount of time that I’ve gone without going home. The trip was awesome, and believe it or not I’m going to give you a break down of it!

Day One:

I arrived in California in time to go to my cousin’s reception, it was so nice to see my family after such a long time. It was overly warm outside (I forgot what summer was like in Calfornia) but it was still nice. 

Yes, The basketball hoop is important to that family. :)

Day Two:

I got to go to church in my home ward, but for the first time in my life I actually felt like I was visiting. It was uncomfortable but to be honest I figure that it was going to happen sooner or later. All around just a weird feeling. After that it was basically a regular day with the family. I got to sleep a lot and I figure that’s what Sundays and breaks are for, resting.

Day Three: BEACH TRIP

The day was pretty overcast and I was kind of disappointed but overall I can’t really complain about the beach. The company I would say is even better than the beach itself. It’s been a long time since Stephanie and Alex had some time to sit and talk.

Weird stuff happened though, as we were walking along the beach there was about a mile, a little under where the beach and a line of ladybugs, all but one that we saw were dead and they looked like they came in on the same wave, it was so weird. On a happier note, we saw a hilarious sign on the walk back, check it out:

Just imagine sound effects:)

Day Four: I got my herrrr did.

I got a PERM! I no longer have virgin hair, but so far I like the look. Its fun but it’ll be interesting to see what I can do with it.

 

That afternoon I met up with Alysha for Frugos, and as if Yucaipa were welcoming me home, they had yellow spoons!!!

That night I helped to arrange a bon fire on the beach out at Huntington Beach. Thank you Kevin and Danny for providing the goods.

 

I was behind the camera so I wasn’t in very many of the pictures.

It was an excellent night:) We also ended it with In-n-Out so it was great.  

Day Five:

I got to run errands with my Mom. And as silly as this sounds, it may have been my favorite day of the whole trip. Just like the good ole days when she and I would spend a day shopping together and get to talk about the things going on in our lives. My soul needed that day.

Day Six:

Packed, waited, drove to Arizona

Day Seven:

I spent about 4 hours out in the pool and got a sweet tan line. It was a blast being able to hang out with so much of my family. We played games like alligator, colored eggs, Marco polo and the matchstick game. Epic All.

Day Eight:

My oldest nephew got baptized!!!! It was so good. I was reminded and touched when they sang the opening song “I Like to Look for Rainbows” it resonated with me when we sang the lines about the earth being clean again, because it was something that I had been thinking about and that I desired, symbolically so much for myself. It was incredible to think of starting over, new and fresh; then I was astounded at the power of the Sacrament—it has the power to make us clean again, just like after baptism, every week. Wow.

  

We left that evening and drove through the night and arrived in Provo at about 4:30 AM, I slept for a few hours and then went to church and didn’t take a nap that day, apparently I was too excited to be back.

These People I Love

I was thinking about how I wanted to write another blog but I wasn't sure what to say initially. I know, I know, that doesn't exactly make you want to keep reading my rambling. But you can go ahead and stop here if you like, I won't know and I won't be upset about it. Anyways, I figured that I could update "ya'll" on my life, how I'm doing and what I'm doing.
Currently,I'm averaging about 50 hours of work every week, and about 4-5.5 hours of sleep every night. I know that it's probably not healthy that I work so much more than I sleep, but trust me I am enjoying the times I am awake. :D I am doing fun things and loving my new place, I know it is just right next door but it is different and the girls are great! As most of you noticed, I also have an incredible boyfriend who has the patience to do lots of random activities with me, namely bike riding, tennis, swimming, Frisbee, cards, pocket tanks, or just plain hanging out with the room mates.


My vacation time got moved up a week and I'm leaving for California in a little under 12 hours. I can't say that I'm disappointed to see my family earlier. I get to see new baby Trenton and catch up with the family face to face. I can't wait to hear the sound of waves crashing or to feel the warm California sun, but what is more exciting than that for me, is seeing my parents. Without their support I would not be the person that I am today. To be honest, last semester would have beat me to the ground if I had not grown up in their loving care.

So, to my Mom and Dad, thank you for being the people you are and for fulfilling your roles as parents so well. We all know that you aren't perfect, no one is, but you are the people that i have needed and will continue to need.

Mom, thanks for being my best friend. Thank you for listening when no one else would. Thank you for understanding me and for taking the time to know me in all my weaknesses and love me besides. You are an incredibly strong woman. I have told many people that if I grew up to be the person that you are, I would be a success. I am aware that you have your own fears and concerns. But I have watched you on your knees gain quiet but sure strength from the Lord. You have faced personal challenges that would lay just about anyone out, but you stayed strong. You ARE strong.
You have left a legacy in the hearts of many people. Not just your children, though they all admire you, but their friends and our friends as well. I have spoken to women who trust you because you genuinely care for them despite their weakness. I have received letters from missionaries and have conversations with friends that have told me that whether you know it or not, YOU have changed their life for the better. Even though we live 600 miles away from each other you still help me every time we talk.

Dad, You have been a quiet but sure influence for good in my life. We've had our moments, sure. But we have had incredible moments as well. I have seen you face trials and though they are hard to bear, you continue to move along. Though you feel inadequate you trust the Lord. And Dad, for the record I don't think you are inadequate at all. I love you and I love that we have an understanding that is not always verbal. The advice you have given me over the years has stuck. I also still find myself reciting "Starkle Starkle Little Twink" and smiling all the way through.

This is just kind of an old picture of me and my Dad:)
:)

Funny Thing Called Life

My Life is funny but Beautiful:)

I went on a walk sometime recently and it took WAY longer than expected. Bad idea on walking that far, but it made for some good times.







These are some baby ducks that we found while we were walking around! I was actually in the middle of telling Danny some random story when I saw them, needless to say that story was hard to continue and definitely got delayed a bit!






Also on this walk we found a car that had been somewhat tagged and I found it amusing.Of course I took a picture of it!













Also, I work at a Customer Service call center now and one day I received a call from "God's Kitchen" Now, I'm not exactly sure where they were calling from but the whole time I couldn't help but wonder what exactly the person on the phone was smelling as they spoke to me. But really, God's Kitchen called me.








I don't have any pictures of this but I have recently started riding my mom's old bike around, for work and what not. It is my new love (along with the Vitamin Water Zero Peach-Mandrin...YUM.... =] I'm hoping to purchase my own pretty soon here but to be honest I never thought that I would enjoy riding this much. It must be in my blood.

We also picked up croquet at work for our 10am Lunch break. I wish I could say that I had pictures for that as well, but I don't. It turns out that a good game of croquet can be better than a nap for reviving your senses! Love it.

Also, in thinking about life, I realize that I have learned a lot. And lately something that has stood out to me has been that I am FAR from perfect. There are a lot of things that I need to work out, but that doesn't damper my spirit. I can excel, I can love, I can laugh and I can improve. I have people who love me for who I am and inspire to become MORE. I love this funny thing called life and in seeking perfection I am finding joy in the journey.

Today was a fairy tale

So this is going to be a really short entry, but I wanted to let you all know that today was a fairy tale, to steal the words of Taylor Swift.

I am so very happy! Ecstatic is probably the best word for it. This is the first time that I have done things in the right order, that I have let them happen in the right order. I'm hoping that this trend of doing things differently continues and that they will continue to happen in the right order. Thank goodness for my ribcage, it's about the only thing keeping my heart inside of my body right now!

Oh my. :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Ice Cream it is my friends. As if that wasn't already one of my favorite desserts!

MLIA

So today at work I was occupying myself and instead of doing something productive like reading or something to that effect I was reading MLIA. I decided that I would share a few of my favorites in a blog:) Enjoy!


I have been reading MLIAs about people who find out they did awesome stuff when they were younger, and i wished i was that cool. Today my mom showed me an assignment from 2nd grade. It told us to name an accomplishment we were proud of. I put training the velociraptors to eat my brother. MLIA

Today, i tried number 9 in 333 ways to get kicked out of walmart, where you dress up as batman and yell " come on robin, to the batmobile!" i was doing this when a old man came down the isle ( with red shirt and black pants ) and yelled ' HOLY MACKERAL! BATMAN! WHERES THE TROUBLE?!" we both ran down the isle singing the old batman song until the manager kicked us out of walmart. old people rule :) - MLIA

Today, I actually said "Excuse me" to my dog. I felt pretty silly, until he kindly moved out of my way. MLIA

When my daughter was 6, I took her to get her flu shot. While I was talking to her the doc snuck up and gave her the shot and she didn't notice. When we got to the car she asked, "What about my shot?" I told her she had already gotten it. She then grabbed her arm and started to cry. She grabbed the wrong arm. MLIA

Today,I was in health class and we were disscussing things that annoy us,my teacher told us to find a partner and annoy them,my bestfriend came up to me and said he would annoy me,i said ok and he then proceded to pull out new moon and read it aloud to me.I knew we were friends for a reason.MLIA

Today, I was tutoring a second grader in math. After I helped him learn how to add and subtract quickly, he taught me how to make my pencil look rubber. Fair trade? I think so. MLIA

Today, I was late for class so I had my band teacher write me a late note. As I was heading to math, I read what he had written as my excuse - "Excuse [name] for her lateness because she is armed and dangerous". My math teacher actually smiled. MLIA.

I was bored, so I went to MysteryGoogle. Instead of typing something in the box and clicking search, I instead left the box empty and clicked search. The site then said "please don't type gibberish". So because I felt dared by the site, I then typed "gibberish" into the box and clicked search. It responded "well aren't you clever?". So then I typed in "Yes, I am clever." It then proceeded to take me to a Wikipedia page about Tater Tots. MLIA.



And after reading all of these I realized that I had one of my own moments last night....
I was sitting at the table with Danny and it was about 11:30 at night. Apparently I am much more sleep deprived than I thought due to my reasoning about productivity. The thought popped into my head that I could save time the next morning in my getting ready routine if I ate breakfast then, before going to bed. Good thing Danny already knows I'm crazy, because that thought was definitely vocalized. :)

Hope this gave you a smile!

Fresh Starts

As I was working the other day at the Pit, I was thinking about how much my life has changed in the past couple months. I would assume that it is safe to assume that just about everyone knows, at least kind of, what happened so it doesn’t need to be rehashed. Looking at my life now compared to what it was reminded me of new beginnings and fresh starts.

Back in Yucaipa we weren’t blessed with a lot of rain, and for about 2 months out of the whole year, the hills turn green with the tender shoots of grass. I spent a good deal of time running around town and appreciating the clean air and the fresh green color that painted our usually barren landscape. I remembered all of those times and I realized that my life is very similar to that right now. I am finding beauty in everything, the tulips blooming in the islands around Provo, the sun rise as I walk to work, and the wonderful friendships that continue to bless my life.

Speaking of friendships, one of my very close friends made my DAY just recently. We will call them Super Friend in order to hide their identity. I was at work and I received a picture text from them. Here is what Super Friend sent me:



All awkward strange connotations aside and with regards to my first blog the message this picture carried was very important to me. Truly, I AM blooming. I am not longer feeling lost blown about by the wind, but grounded and blooming. It took me a while but I’m coming into myself again and I’m so happy again! I was asked yesterday by a friend “how are you doing Selina?” not the passing “Hey what’s up!?” But the sincere heart felt… no really Selina, how are YOU doing?. And I could honestly say that I was happy all the way through my toes! I am happy again! :D Being able to answer the question like that is exhilarating.

“Selina is Blooming”

I'm coming out and sharing my smile with the world. No longer will I hang my head, but I will BLOOM. Look towards the sun and share the color of my life and myself with everyone around me. I’m stretching in the sun and soaking up the light and warmth.

Like a little flower after a long winter, I’m opening up and becoming who I want to be.
Thank you Super Friend for helping me get to that point and encouraging me to bloom:)

Casting Stones

Sin comes in a multitude of shapes and sizes. For some of us that sin is worn on the outside, apparent to everyone around us, while others seem to have perfected the art of appearance-- but that is beside my point.

Extra piercings and tattoos are disrespectful to our God given bodies, but how much more disrespectful is it to discredit a son or daughter of God because they chose to decorate that way? Now, don’t get the wrong idea, I am not condoning that behavior, I still firmly believe that it is wrong. But since when is it okay to condemn someone for that? Our friends, our brothers and sisters who made those decisions don’t need to be shunned or exiled from our society. “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone” and who are we to even start picking up rocks? Not only is it rude, but we would be missing out on the company of some amazing people and condemning ourselves in the process. While we may not embrace the actions, we can and should embrace the people. They are good people and oftentimes have good desires. How can we claim to be Christian without being willing to love those that have wandered? Every person needs love, and if a friend happens to be doing things they know they shouldn’t, it is not the time to retract that love for them, but to increase it.

Maybe the old phrase “love the sinner hate the sin” isn’t so cliché after all.

We live in a confusing world. The “straight and narrow path” earned the name for a reason; compared to the offers of the world, the path seems small. It is easily lost if you take your eyes off of it. The distractions of the world are flashy and frequent; all too often we forget who we are and where we are going when all the confusion of the world suffocates us. Society bombards all of us with information, with bone skinny models and bulky body builders. Those on popular television seem to have the glory of the world handled while they participate in all sorts of immoral behaviors. With these subliminal messages every, can we really wonder why it affects so many in our society? Why it affects those we love so deeply?

There is a better option and there are better role models. But they are quieter than the world’s and don’t demand the attention that the famous do. The world tries to drown those noble people out as “boring” or “lame”. Because the world tried so very hard to cover them up, it becomes a quest to find those examples who hold true to moral values. We need to learn to look past a person’s exterior and really look at them and try to understand who they really are. Every person wants to be loved and wants someone to appreciate them and their efforts. Some of our friends know what they need to do, but are struggling with the “higher law”. Perhaps those things that you find them lacking in are hard for them but easy for you because they are so thoroughly engrained into your mindset. In Acts 15:28 Peter said “For it seemed good to the Holy Ghost, and to us, to lay upon you no greater burden than these necessary things”; My mom brought this scripture to my attention and then asked [paraphrased]: How often do we lay unnecessary burdens on our brothers and sisters because of the standards that we hold for ourselves?

Do you remember the last time that you decided that you were going to change something, that you were going to try harder, or get rid of a bad habit? Perhaps even start a new good habit? Have you ever been shot down by someone that you shared that goal with? And do you remember that sinking feeling? Even if they were “just kidding”, it still hurt didn’t it? And would if they weren’t kidding? What it if they legitimately didn’t believe that you could do it? How deep would that wound go? How far would it penetrate? How long would that ache?

Knowing how much that little moment hurts, how often do we crush another’s dreams of improvement with our sly remarks and backhanded scoffs? We are all children of God, no matter what walk of life we are in. The Atonement is infinite for a reason. Through it Christ reaches out his arms of mercy to every single person. He loves them and he died for them. Who are we to discount what God has glorified? How can we dig up what Christ has buried?

Let us be Christian people.

Idaho Potatoes

So, this weekend plans changed like 3 times but I ended up going to Blackfoot Idaho with LeAndra.
Let me start from the beginning. I was at work making pitas and LeAndra texted me to say that we could leave Idaho sunday night so I would be able to make it back to provo in time to work at 7am monday morning. Then we had a rush but I had a couple hours to prepare mentally for leaving for the weekend. Danny came and visited me at work and stuck around to give me a ride home because he is just so nice like that. No, Danny this is not your official appearance on my blog, but you did make it ;)
Anyways, so I stuck around talking to him and told him what the plans were. After saying goodbye I walk into my new apartment and I smell paint. The kitchen is now painted! Can I just say that I love my new roomies, and a lot of the reason is because they will randomly do things like that.
So I rush around for an hour putting away clothes and throwing some things together to go to Idaho. And eventually I'm ready to go. LeAndra's friend drove us up to Idaho in his little blue geo. I sat in the back and thought to myself, "Oh my gosh, If we get hit I'm going to die." We drove a tin can up to idaho, but hey, it's a car right?

We stopped by in Malad to say hi to it for Danny. SMALL town. oh my. But it was cuteish, we didn't spend much time there. The drive overall was really pretty, the clouds were big and fluffy but not pure white and not threatening. The sky was blue and spots of sunlight kissed the rolling hills. Wide open spaces are therapuetic. The scenery was pretty much the same the whole time but I didn't mind it.

We arrived in Blackfoot and I'm not sure what time it was but it was fun seeing someone else come home and meeting LeAndra's family. That night we hung out with some kids, hitting up the Local Wal-mart (apparently the thing to do if you want to run into people you know. Then we played Quelf (oh yes it WAS excellent). In the last year or so of my life I have decided that I really enjoy just talking with people and getting to know them.

That night LeAndra and I crashed on the floor at the house and I was OUT. I guess that happens when you work a 53 hour week without a whole lot of sleep. I can sleep just about anywhere nowdays.

Sunday morning we went to a Singles ward that held their services in a funeral home... strange? yes, but it was really pretty. This sunday was also my first time bearing my testimony in a ward that I was only visiting in. I don't know why, I just felt like it would be a good thing to do and let me tell you: I got such a high off of it! :D love it.

Anyways, afterways they showed me the giant potato and a few other spots around town and I just woke up from a little nap.

The rest of the weekend should prove to be just as good. We're celebrating LeAndra's birthday tonight and it should be excellent.

It was a good plan coming to blackfoot.

The adventures of Summer are beginning. Next Weekend: Logan.

Faith is Like a Little Seed

"Yea, and it came to pass that the Lord our God did visit us with assurances that he would deliver us; yea, insomuch that he did speak peace to our souls, and did grant unto us great faith, and did cause us that we should hope for our a deliverance in him." Alma 58:11

No matter what the trial may be, whether is is personal or private, long term or short term the Lord is ready and willing to lift us up. Through earnest prayer and sincere desire to believe we can experience that warm assurance that God loves us and that He is on our side. Even if there is a waiting period before we are delivered from our trials, we can receive comfort, peace, and most importantly great faith while we wait. Great faith allows us to hope and enables us to be comforted in our lowest moments. If we struggle in exercising that faith we can pray to be strengthened. He will enable us to develop greater faith in Him and his ability to heal, cleanse and comfort. I find it really encouraging that even when we haven't always been as good as we should have been, as long as we look to him for strength and comfort, He will support us. If we petition him for help and honestly seek to use it then He is more than willing to water and nourish our little seed of faith. The noursihment that our souls receive from our loving Heavenly Father fosters growth; soon that little seed will have grown into a strong tree. However, we need to remember that trees still need nourishment.

I felt God's infinite love today, it wrapped my soul in acceptance like none other. I know that God loves His children and although I wander, He will guide me home.
<3

Uber Long Post is Proof that I Shouldn't wait to Blog

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about life, lots of various different aspects and I’m not sure where to start. I think the first thing I'm excited to share is the excitement about life that I feel when I wake up in the morning, it is incredible. I wake up in the morning take a second before I open my sleeping eyes and drink in life; I begin to wake up to the world instead of grumbling out of bed and mechanically go through my day. Thoreau noticed this phenomena of life and commented that "To be awake is to be alive". I'm waking up and I'm incorporating living into my life. For now, I have stopped worrying about what the day may bring or what emotional state I will be in as it closes. The air is clean again and my lungs have been suffocating; I am aware of myself as I breathe in deep and as I laugh freely with my friends. The world is bright!

I went on a walk up to the temple on Wednesday to have some peaceful time by myself and to figure out a few things. While I was there I took the pictures that are posted with this entry and found my new mission statement. “Holiness to the Lord”- it may seem easier at times to give into what everybody else is doing or saying, but in truth it is easier overall to maintain a close relationship with the Lord. Because that close relationship maintains the stability in my life. It is the glue that holds everything together. Choosing to dismiss the glue is hardly conducive to a founded and focused life. Holiness to the Lord, in all aspects of life.

Friends sometimes are the reason for the most growth in my life. But on the same hand, they also teach me how to recover from those falls. I am so thankful to have people to spend time with that understand me and are willing to listen to my ridiculous rambling. Recently, I was having an incredibly hard day and Alex called me at precisely the right moment.[Alex is my best friend from back home]. She listened to me and I knew that she really honestly cared. My heart was touched.

Also, shout out to Abby, my beautiful, amazing, inspiring now "ex" roomie! In the last month or so she has been subtly teaching me how to really care about other people and to be aware of them. Her loving heart has supported me through this semester. I can only hope that I helped her as well. I am so excited for her and her plans, even though it means I won't see her for a long time. <3

Spring and Summer are going to be amazing! I've kicked it off by going salsa dancing, a party, a huge "cuddlefest" and I'm looking forward to a bonfire tonight. The real reason that my summer is going to be amazing though are the people that I will get to spend time with. I hope to keep spending time with these people as well as those I haven't met yet and those that the ties of friendship go back a ways.

Life is beautiful.

Hope

I think that it is ironic that they call this place "Happy Valley". Winter semester taught me that just about every third person has a broken heart, about half are dealing with tragedies and the other half I just don't know well enough but they probably have something going on. Thankfully enough, there is reason to hope. Even when you hear of broken engagements, loneliness in a crowd of people, and self doubt, there is reason to hope. After the dark night the sun rises and the days are brighter. Sometimes we go through the winters of our lives where the sun tries desperately to shine through the heavy clouds, in these times we seem to go for weeks without the nourishment of the sunshine. Perhaps emotionally or spiritually using the word overcast would be a gross understatement. We may feel lost in the darkness of life, but sometimes we are fortunate enough to hold someone's hand, or hear the voice of a friend. It is though small moments that we seem to live on. Living from one glimpse of light and touch of a loving hand to another.

But in time the sun rises, the light shines and the way becomes more clear.
This is my hope, this is what I thrive on; that light will shine through the dark clouds of life and my eyes will be opened to the rainbows that follow the storms. This is my faith-- that through the Atonement of Christ my wounds will be cleaned and healed. That the scar tissue will remain only as a reminder of the experience, but fail to disfigure me. The transformation will only happen through consistent and earnest prayer, diligent and daily scripture study, and the miracle of forgiveness. Right now, it is one step at a time but I'll keep my head up and change will happen.

In the process of finding this hope, I cannot keep it to myself. Those small precious moments of encouragement that I receive from others I will pass forward to my friends. In this little "happy valley" of ours, even though I am not at 100%, I can still reach out and help others who are struggling. What love I have I can share, what peace I find I can spread, what happiness I make I can extend to others and through our efforts, we can help each other through whatever storms may come.

Bloom Where You Are Planted

"Bloom Where You Are Planted"... I'm working on that. It is a phrase that one of my close friends used recently and the idea impressed me. Sometimes I flatter myself into thinking that I'm good enough or that I'm happy enough. And then something happens to remind me that complacently doesn't lead to happiness or fulfillment. Be happy no matter what Life throws at you, because Life is the master of curve balls and strike outs.

Be Happy.

Bloom Where You Are Planted.

I'm working on that. :)